Father's Day is around the corner

I love this quote from Elizabeth Edwards.

If you have lost a child, you know what she is talking about.  If you haven't and know someone who has, I encourage you remember them on Father's Day.  For us, Mother's Day and Father's day are tough ones, you throw Memorial Day in between and it really sucks.  :)  Sometimes Dads are forgotten about in the grieving process, people expect them to move on quicker. 
 
“If you know someone who has lost a child or lost anybody who’s important to them, and you’re afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn’t forget they died. You’re not reminding them. What you’re reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that’s a great, great gift. – Elizabeth Edwards

Yesterday would have been Jackson's 20 month birthday. We still miss him like crazy! My friend Tara sent us the book "Heaven is for Real" for Memorial Day.  It's a great story and has a great message.  We look forward to the day we hold sweet little Jackson in Heaven!

Lisa

This is for Nana

This weekend I had a chance to go up and decorate Jackson's headstone for spring!  It's always so hard to go and even harder to leave.  It's been a while since we have been up there and it was really dragging on my heart.  So I made a point to go up and get it ready for Spring. 

I know for some people this may sound weird.  But for me, it's all I have.  It's the only way that I'm able to be a proud mama and make a big deal out of my baby!  It's so important for me to always have it decorated in the current season and it also let me know that we haven't forgotten him.  NOT that we will ever forget, but this is the one physical thing I can do to show how much we love him. 

My mom has been so great about giving me things to put on his headstone too.  It's her way of showing us that she still remembers too and how her only grandson is important to her too.  So Nana, here is a picture of the bubbles that you sent with me for Jackson.  I even spent a few minutes blowing some (and crying)! :)

I don't want every post to be about sad things, but right now, I'm just really sad.  I think it stems partly from the anxiety of the adoption process.  I know that it is only a matter of time before we will have a baby in heaven and a baby in our arms.  I long for that day when we can have that!

Thanks Nana for never forgetting!

Opening our hearts to adoption!

Adoption is something I have prayed about for the past year.  It has been in my heart, but I knew it might take some convincing for my husband. :)  I've had crazier ideas!  December 2009, shortly after Jackson was born, I ran into a college friend at a cattleman's convention.  He asked how our baby was, I shared with him that he was stillborn, and he shared with me that he and his wife had struggled with infertility and they were just beginning the adoption process.  December 2010, I ran into him at the same convention and he told me that they had a successful adoption placement.  We spent 30 minutes discussing their agency and it was that night that I knew this was something that we had to learn more about.

Ironically, they only accept classes twice a year through this agency and they would be doing interviews within the next month.

We met with the caseworker in our region over Christmas break to learn more about the program.  I had the opportunity to talk to other adoptive parents prior to the meeting as well as reading many blogs that were focused on adoption.  On the other hand, Anthony may have needed a little more convincing that this was a good match for our family.  But, after answering some of our questions, a lot of talking to each other, and praying for guidance from above we are moving forward with the process.

The process has gone like this:

• 2010
• December 20- Information Meeting
• 2011
• January 3- Submitted Formal Application
• January 15- We got an interview!!!!  Yeah!
• February 9- Formal interview.  Learn that there are 19 families and only 6 open spots
• February 18- We go accepted into the program!!!!
• March 17&18th- First group training classes
• March 22- Home study #1
• April 5- Home study #2
• April 6- Lisa individual home study
• April 28 & 29- Second group training class
• April- Anthony individual home study
• April- Final home study and walk though
• May- Complete profile for birth moms to view
• May- Profile will begin being shown!!!!!!!!!

We have been finger-printed, poked, financially dissected and various other things in the many, many, pages of paperwork that we have completed.  But the reality is that the agency has a duty to ensure birthmoms that they are placing thier child in a happy, healthy, stable home.  We are more than happy to provide any necessary information.

We will be participating in an "Open Adoption".  We are finding out that adoption is much like stillbirth and many people have complete misconceptions about the process.  That is information for another post!  :)

Please pray for us and for our future birthmom and baby!  We don't know when or where the placement will take place, but we hope it's soon!